Today is the first day of winter but it can also be seen as the last day of increasing darkness since it is the shortest day of the year!

Hard-boiling an egg haiku from Suzie Baker's "HAIKU cooking:" Start in cold water / In pan on stove the egg waits / Remove when it boils

Fun Visit to Suzie Baker's Home in Marin County

Today I had such a fun visit with Suzie Baker--saw her home for the first time. She lives in Marin County, just over the Golden Gate Bridge from here! Her home is on a large plot of land, and she even has a small lake and a lot of geese, ducks, and other water birds. I met a few up close and personal-- it was hilarious!

You can click on the images to see them large.

I had a feeling about drinking soft drinks--ewww!

http://health.yahoo.com/experts/drmao/20270/what-soft-drinks-are-doing-to-your-body/

Mashed Potato Cooking Haiku from Suzie Baker

Mashed Potato haiku from Suzie Baker's haiku cookbook:

Don't peel potatoes
Boil them soft still wearing skins
(S)mash with olive oil

Dia de los Muertos / Day of the Dead / Harvest

Autumn equinox was remarkable to me this year; I think it's the first time in my adult life that I've really noticed it. The light had a certain quality, and the shadows had a -- well, it feels a little silly to say it, but they had a powerful feel to them. They were inky and seemed energized with the spirits who come to visit us this time of year. And even though most vegetation and trees are fully green here in this Mediterranean climate (one of the 5 on the earth), what few dead leaves there were did rustle in the wind in a mischievously spooky way. I imagined my brother was giggling at me from the shadows as I walked the path up on Twin Peaks. All of a sudden it felt like Autumn, and I thought to myself, "Gee, no wonder they called September 22nd the first day of Fall."

The harvest moon was on October 4, and it felt like the full moon of November 2 was marking a completion of sorts. This is because November 2 was the second of the Dias de los Muertos, the Days of the Dead. November 2 is the big day of celebration here in San Francisco. Happily, I found out about it when I was exploring the wonderful, lively Mission District a few weeks ago. The San Francisco website for this widely celebrated Latino Holiday makes a nice statement; "The celebration acknowledges that we still have a relationship with our ancestors and loved ones that have passed away." I find that very comforting. The holiday is celebrated by making altars for departed loved ones. Candles, mementos, photographs, and especially food and drink are placed on the altars for the dead to come and enjoy. The Latino bakeries on 24th Street have Pan de los Muertos, Bread of the dead, in a couple shapes and sizes. I bought some, and it tastes like nice, sweet challah or brioche.

I went down to the Mission District procession, as I found in the listings, equipped with a few items to put in an altar. I was surprised and disappointed to find that it seemed to be a continuation of Halloween to most of the participants, and I doubted they knew what the meaning of the festival was. Nonetheless, I did see some lovely altars in Garfield Park, nestled in the surface roots of the giant trees. It was very touching. But it was so crowded, I didn't feel right trying to make an altar there, so I went up a quiet alley. I found a nice spot with a most interesting bush that had large, cream-colored flowers hanging down like trumpets that open up into stars. It had a gorgeous, sweet scent. There was an old, dilapidated kitchen chair next to the bush that somehow made the spot seem just perfect for me to make an altar for my brother, Brett. I put 3 yellow candles in jelly jars that I had been saving, not knowing why, but realizing they were perfect because Brett loved jam on biscuits. I left him a peanut butter and bacon on white (no crusts) sandwich, a cup of Sanka (his weird love), a cigarette, and a shot of whiskey. I figured that those things won't hurt him anymore; he can just enjoy them freely. I bought some potted marigolds that afternoon, and bought them because I learned that they are symbolic flowers for the festival. I also left his photo, with a frame of black licorice around it (another of his joys).

I sat for a long time, just looking quietly at the altar. I sat until my bottom was cold, and when I finally stood up, my lower back was aching. But it was worth it for the settling, peaceful feeling it brought me.

I took the bus home, and there were all sorts of people on it, one of the wonders of San Francisco for me. A man had a floor lamp that he managed to hold upright and not fall over as the bus lurched up 24th Street. There were people with skulls on their clothing, faces painted white, and people who seemed to be on their way home from something not at all related to Day of the Dead. Indeed, when I had my job downtown I would often ride that bus home at 9PM, tired but content with my efforts.

I wasn't tired, but I was content. I got off the bus to walk up the hill, and under the full moon in the quiet residential neighborhood that gives way to Twin Peaks, the last islands of nature in the middle of this vibrant city, I thought about Brett. I began to think that if he could only have come to San Francisco five years ago, he'd still be alive. Poor Brett was just so gentle and fragile. He had the build, but not the callousness of all the TOUGH MEN in the family. He was not able to joust with them in the way that is expected of men back home. He just wasn't interested, even though he was plenty strong and had to prove it more times than I care to recall. I should've left sooner, and brought him with me. But that's irrelevant because none of us knew, and anyway the time has passed, and taken Brett with it.

It is weird here, and just because I haven't mentioned it, don't think that I haven't noticed the variations on appearance, behavior, and belief here; they exceed mightily anything I ever imagined was possible in people. Especially all gathered in one 7-mile by 7-mile city. It is difficult sometimes, too, believe me. I don't always know how to interact with all these strange new people, but the over-arching wonder is the sense of acceptance and tolerance here. It is refreshing and far more relaxing than back home, however calm and slow the pace was there. Brett would have had a chance here. Even with all the drugs to tempt him, there are so many services, and I'm sure he would've found a community to fit into and feel comfortable being his true self in. He was so lonely.

I stopped on the Market Street bridge, at the top of the spiral where the City opened up in a blue panorama under the fat moon. I breathed in and when I exhaled I imagined Brett's soul soaring free, over the sparkling city and the bay with the moonlight reflecting in a wide swath. That's when I felt the sense of the end of Harvest. The spirits were content and went on their way, their visiting season complete. Until next year, Brett. And you'll be in my heart every day, like always.

A New Way to Read

Half-reading "A Case of Two Cities," by Qiu Xiaolong. Not focusing, but enjoying the 4 o'clock sun rays here in the 5th floor library window. I am trying a new approach: instead of forcing myself to concentrate on the novel, making careful note of details that may matter later, I am allowing my thoughts to drift as they will. I'm a little tired, you see. I have been attending the (very helpful) Digimarketing class and the fun Laugh Workout class at the Learning Apex.

I have also done a significant amount of work for Suzie Baker's Rising Sun Institute of Spiritual Cooking. Happily, she has expanded the scope of my work to include a comprehensive marketing plan, a commercial (yikes! never done one, but she hooked me up with a good video director; I just have to write it), and organizing a focus group. Funnily enough, she doesn't want a website, and is content with the blog that I set up for her, even though she hasn't updated it...

So as I read "A Case of Two Cities," here in the afternoon sun, ideas bubble up for these projects, as well as my Digimarketing homework, and I allow it. It is similar to a lot of TV watching that is done, the way the tv is on in the background. While I enjoy the sense of relaxing, I don't intend to do this too much, as the book is very interesting and educational even if it is a detective novel. It has an interesting perspective on Chinese society, both in the present, shifting times, and in some of the poetry of its past.

Gratitude

I felt a burst of gratitude as I arrived home from my afternoon walk today. Here I am, jobless (save for the small but significant bit of income from my client, Suzie Baker), very alone in a new city, not knowing what will come next for me, and I am grateful!! What a gift I've been given, to have been able to move past the anxiety I was experiencing a few short weeks ago. (Is it God?) It's just that something's shifted in me and I feel in many ways similarly to how I felt as a child. I mean, something about how it feels to be in the world has returned to me. For example, noticing how long my shadow was this afternoon, or how beautiful and cute the little birds are up in the the brush on the hill. Loving the squeaky green clouds of parrots that fly around here, watching them from the porch the way one watches an air show like the Blue Angels. Except the parrots are just symbols of themselves, unlike the acrobatic jets which are symbols of military force. I suppose that all of this solitude has brought me back to my deeper self. A self that I became increasingly distant from as each year in middle school, high school, college, business school, I got busier and busier. That occupation of my mental and social self pulled me into a consciousness that did not include nature and sensation, only ideas for money or commerce. Of course, I still love my career and don't intend to move away from Marketing as my occupation. But it will cease to be a preoccupation. I hope.

Hey! Reading about Nell Minow in the New Yorker mag. Cool lady! Cool magazine! I'll subscribe when my income rises. For now, cool library!

Starting my program with the Rising Sun Institute of Spiritual Cooking

My first visit with Suzie Baker from the Rising Sun Institute of Spiritual Cooking. It is partial payment for the first marketing work I did for her (see: http://risingsuninstitute.blogspot.com/) I thought it would be a cooking class, but it turned out that Suzie thought I needed an "Orientation Treatment" before I begin my personalized program. It was unusual. She said that my food-soul colors needed to be aligned. She put on the light green shirt and orange vest because those were the relevant colors. I honestly don't understand it, but she wants me to put an explanation of that technique and others on her blog, so I'm sure I'll be learning a lot about it. This treatment involved her waving an orange around me, and pointing a flat, thick broom-type thing at me, and then I had to hold the orange and broom in my hands and breathe a certain way. I didn't feel any differently afterward, but I enjoyed the visit with her. It was convenient, too, because she came to my apartment. She said that my neighborhood (Twin Peaks) has many identified healing spots (she calls them IHS's). Overall, it was uplifting because Suzie is very friendly and pleasant. Plus the cash part of the payment will cover next month's rent. She even gave me a copy of her book, Haiku Cooking, so now I can return the one I've been borrowing from the library!

So this is Fall in San Francisco: cold wind, warm sun, and the hills are turning green! Back home the leaves have fallen. Upside-down here.

Hey! My first marketing piece for Suzie Baker! Click this! http://risingsuninstitute.blogspot.com

But don't I need a token? Well, maybe I just got one in the form of a hint from On High--a possible upturn in my career slump:
Something good, maybe great, has happened! Today I went to the cooking school run by Suzie Baker, the author of the book, "Haiku Cooking." I decided to leave the car (and its carbon farts) at home and take the bus--my first time on Golden Gate Transit. What a great view from the bridge--much better from a bus than a car; no railings blocking the view! I actually met Suzie Baker, and because I don't feel I can afford the programs I'm interested in at her school, we worked out a deal: I will do some marketing work for her at a reduced rate, and I will get a discount on whatever classes I take! What a lovely place it is, plus they offer special programs at many sites around the Bay Area and Beyond.

I'm glad I enrolled in the DigiMarketing Class. I went to the first session yesterday, and I think it will bring me up to date on some things that will help me to be more competitive in the job market. Plus, I already learned a couple of things I can apply to my first project for Suzie Baker!

Just found out that the author of "Haiku Cooking" has a special cooking institute nearby. I will see if they have classes!!!

Big lots is an interesting store but it's making a pink ball of sadness form in my stomach.

Already feel better here in the library. Writing a haiku was fun. Found some interesting poetry books here!

The people you see
which ones you would want to be
in the future

My first haiku! Got curious about them because of the haiku cookbook (Haiku Cooking by Suzie Baker).

Rough Spot

This picture sort of shows how I feel. Uncertain, a little lost, a little bit down...

Sunday night was bad. Normally Sunday nights are get-ready-for-the-work week nights. It kind of got to me that I have no job to go to. I know how many other people are in the same boat, and I feel grateful that I didn't buy that condo and don't have foreclosure to deal with. I'm ok as far as rent is concerned, I can hold out for a while on my savings.

I had my Laugh Workout class at the Learning Apex yesterday. It was fun, and an interesting way to get fit. But one segment was watching "Funny American Home Videos" and I don't like the ones where people crash into things while driving motorcycles or bicycles. It is not funny and looks horrific. Other people's pain is not funny. However, there were some cute and funny kids and animals. The other people in class seem nice, even though I didn't feel up to trying to meet anyone and just came right home.

Things will get better. Tonight I'll sleep better and not worry like I did last night.

After my job search today I will do some organizing around the apartment.

Have you noticed how so many tv commercials have old products that are sad because their women are using new ones?

Why do we love baked goods so much? A biscuit is just a little disc of flour and butter that turns into a crisp treasure in the oven!

I can rest easier if they just stop the king from Suzie!

TV can scare

Those tv ads with people mailing gold jewelry somewhere for money are so awful. There are a lot of them. I wonder how many folks mail their jewelry and how fairly they get paid.

Those ads for depression medicine say side effects like glaucoma and really dangerous stuff I think I'd rather be depressed like now. Wine is better, or beer sake plum wine.

Sorry for rambling to the blank empty nothing who cares.

Sunday night no work tomorrow even if

These blue hills make a ridge wall on the far side of the bay and there are tiny buildings sprinkled
among the trees oh it all looks blue from far away from these two little hills reaching up to breathe
reaching up from all of the cement that took the place of the trees and yet the formidable snakes catch tiny mice as dark little rabbits disappear into the brush with whoever those animals were that made the tiny holes in the dirt trails in this big dish surrounding that shallow sheet of gray water below the silver finger of fog that the skyscrapers give their own finger to. Too.

What am I doing anyway? Who cares? so what if I write weird things like the one above. Who will read it anyway its like a message in this wine bottle I just finished I may as well trhow it in the ocean but not right now driving not a good idea/

So this was a nice Sunday even though I still am unemployed I was enjoying an old science fiction tv show, then a cooking show with a tart tamper (why did the tv audience think that was so funny?) And i made noodles with butter salt n pepper and had no sauce so put kechup on it whch was pretty good especially with red wine even cheap.

But then I saw the e-mail from the job I had a shot at--they don't want me. I think i don't have enough connections not evnough people on Facebook or Twitter following me.

It does feel better now that I wrote that. I have to keep my chin up. It helped to talk with my cousin from back home. It hurts that my friends don t answer e-mails and cell phones. I know what they do, they always look who's calling and they answere even if their eating with friends they answer and probab;y text. Well I would text if i had somenone other than Twirtter to text to.

But I will take that Digimarketing class starting this Tuesday and the Laugh Workout class, and I'll feel better and get a job soon.

I miss my laptop sold it but was just panicking. Still hav e the big old computer at home but in the library I have to reserve one. I just can't stay here all day long. But I like the weird book of poems I foung on the table in the library yesterday that was a quiet day even in the big library. It was nice out but today it was gray. Normally gray skies wouldn'tmatter because Id stay in and clean house cook or work on a project for work but now its just to damn quiet.

Well this helps to write aprivate thing and put it on the internet the electronic message in abottle.

you can make designs by typing see below

```````````````````````~~~~~~````````````````~~~~~~~~~~```````````~~~~~~~~~
YOU could do that, print it out and cut it to paste on a scrapbook to make a bordr.

MId-October

Mugginess
What funny weather this place has, so unlike back home, where it'd be crisp with crunchy fallen leaves on the ground. No, here it has been pouring rain and really warm. Even muggy today, but no rain.

I went down the hill to get some coffee, and everything felt close as I waited for the bus. I didn't want to walk the extra four blocks up the hill because I had over-dressed, was carrying an un-needed umbrella and the bag of coffee, and the pockets of my (unnecessary) jacket were bulging with my phone, wallet, keys. When I got off the bus and walked up the spiral approach to the pedestrian bridge, I felt relieved, as if I'd shed some stifling layers of clothing. I had this thought of the cars and buildings down by the cafe being the things that I was wearing like uncomfortable garments. I must be spending too much quiet time alone.

Library
On the other hand, I think this period of unemployment - in a new city where I haven't established social ties with anyone - is also good. All of that silence and solitude opens up space for reflection and noticing. Things like the late afternoon sunlight coming through an unseen window in the main library, like an odd yellow spotlight. I go to it like an insect and it flashes in my eyes. I actually enjoy the afterimage, even though it blurs the names of the books on the shelf nearby. I realize I can wait for it to fade, I have time, I don't have to be anywhere. I can just slowly walk through the stacks, look up at this strange building, so unlike the solid little old library back home. This building is - hollow. I mean, all buildings are hollow, but this one has an empty center, like a stack of glass donuts. It's kind of nice the way sunlight can go all the way down to the lower level by the cafe.

Newness!

Welcome to the first post of my brand new blog!

I am a fictitious character, part of a Twitter novel/Social media performance by Claire Bain.

So much to tell, but other things beckon me. Actually it's more than beckoning-I have to find work, and soon! I got laid off a couple weeks ago. Luckily I had not purchased the condo I had my eye on, and my rent is relatively affordable for now, so there is no mortgage pressure.

If you are new to me, you can catch up a bit just by clicking (no signup needed) http://twitter.com/NovaAv

I am also on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/people/Nova-Avon/100000152305154?ref=search

And Youtube: http://youtube.com/TheNovaAv

Ooops--strange sirens going off now--earthquake drill!

More later...